Couples who have been together for many decades have often lived fulfilling lives together, and it would seem that death of a partner would make them angry and distraught. There are couples who experience this, but many older couples handle the death of a partner with extreme calm and grace. If their partner suffered through a long and painful illness, they might see it as a welcome release for the person they loved. Some of them have faith they will meet their partner after death takes them, so they are calm in the face of their loss.
Whether or not a person shows it publicly, losing a loved one is always difficult. A spouse is someone to depend on to compensate for weaknesses, share joys and sorrows and a partner in planning to build a future together. Losing that person is often a tragedy, and it is a loss whether they are taken unexpectedly or they both know the end will be soon.
When a person contains their feelings after the loss of a loved one, it does not mean they had no feelings. Some people see it as a sign of respect for their departed spouse. Others believe they must comfort friends and family who are also feeling the loss, or they might be able to control their grief by helping others. It is a significant event in their lives, and deep feelings are often difficult to display to others.
While many older couples experience loss in this way, there are young people who accept the end in the same manner. They might have been with someone who had a serious illness, or they might have become involved with a person they knew would be unable to make a commitment. They might be able to contain their pain, but they still feel it as deeply as a person who is demonstrative or destructive.